GLEN VIEW, HARARE – A local Harare man, Tafara Mahofa,
ruminating deeply beyond the comprehension of human feeble minds in the streets
of Glen View 1, expressed his wish for his stream of consciousness, and that of
other comrades, to be used as a source for “safe, clean, humane drinking water”
in the beleaguered city.
As if falling into a philosophical trance that could have been
arduously turned into a PhD thesis, Tafara Mahofa pointed out with much
poignancy, “It is utterly exasperating and absolutely dehumanizing that City of
Harare cannot provide clean, safe, humane, mouthwatering and free water out of
our taps. I don’t know what their problem is. It is a horrendous experience.
Imagine, we’re in 2023. Either the water is not there, or when it’s there, it
just comes out in a way that makes you want to vomit. Where do they get that
water from? I often wonder. Yet, everyday, I have to sip some from my stream of
consciousness. Such a clean source. A clean stream. Natural, for that matter.
Clean water.”
He went on, almost rambling, that perhaps it is safe for City
of Harare to get the city’s water from the “clean and safe” stream of
consciousness. “I’m not really sure how the city engineers and surveyors can
lay out and build the pipes to draw water from our stream of consciousness to
our taps in our homes. But all I know, and I’m really tired just from
thinking about this, is that perhaps the so-called city fathers can use our
stream of consciousness as a source for clean and safe water. My stream, and
the streams of my comrades, are natural, clean, and safe.”
At press time, The Reporters failed to get a word from the
Town Clerk of City of Harare on whether this grand innovative plan to
ameliorate the city’s unending water woes is viable. Tafara Mahofa later said
that it is particularly the stream of consciousness of writers and other
artistes that can be perfectly harnessed for these purposes as it is always “oozing
water”.
Tafara Mahofa indicated to The Reporters that it is an utterly
fucked up situation, a whole clusterfuck, that the “city fathers” continuously
buy brand new cars and stands while people have no water. He suggested it is
now time for the “city mothers” to run the city – highlighting the complexity
and haphazard nature of his stream of consciousness.
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