Local Man Not Congratulated by Family and Friends After Buying Toyota Platz

 By Intertwined-Zimbabwe

NORTH END, BULAWAYO – In what was expected to be the biggest achievement of his not-so-rosy yet fiercely ambitious life, a local man in Bulawayo failed to please the entirety of his immediate and extended family plus his huge consortium of friends after he imported a brand new second-hand Toyota Platz from an advanced Far East country in Asia.

Image sourced from some random site selling brand new 2nd-hand cars which the Supreme Editor has since forgotten about [as in the random site].

Phakamile Njabulo, the Platz owner, was ecstatic after his friend Jamie Sithole brought the vehicle from a certain port into the City of Kings and Queens.

However, in a dark plot twist, the friend’s apparently dejected face signalled ominous gloom for  Phakamile's fierce ambitions for urban success and city recognition.

It got unbearably worse when he resignedly discovered his parents (particularly his father who spoke to the press), were “dismally dismayed and disheartened” with the “atrocity” that Phakamile brazenly committed.

“We’re having an incredibly hard time dealing with this ignominy. How can our only son fail us like this and bring shame to our family name? We sent him to the best private schools in the country and gave him a decent university education at Wits, only for him to turn on our backs like this by committing such a fucking atrocity? Surely a Corolla or Fit or even a Wish would have sufficed, you know? To say we are dismally dismayed and disheartened by this lack of gratitude to all the investments we made in him is a gross understatement.”

The mother also weighed in when the family spoke to the B-Metro at a press conference held at the Njabulos residence in North End.

“Phakamile has disappointed us. How can a son buy an ugly car like that? His three sisters are doing well here and in Jo'burg and Harare, they have classy BMWs and Mercs. Not ugly cars. I hope this is not the same trend he exhibits in his haphazard selection of girlfriends.”

The Reporters scurried for the Platz owner's word at press time. “Shit's difficult you scheme? I thought I had arrived. What’s the purpose of the car when your family thinks you bought a bicycle all the way from Japan? I don't know man.”

His consortium of friends, through their spokes-guy Jamie Sithole, said that although they were “extremely disappointed” with the Platz, it is still a whole goddamned car that demands petrol (or blend?) and that it makes their rounds in the city easier. Jamie's vice in the consortium of friends – a local man from Masvingo's Rujeko – said that “haaa, hazvina pressure izvo mdara. Kungodeepisawo uko.”

At the time of writing, The Reporters could not get a word from the Njabulo sisters, or from Phakamile's girlfriend; the latter who’s always at loggerheads with the mother over certain unspecified cultural issues.

The girlfriend is reportedly in hiding in Lupane at another lover's car park. It is speculated that she “can’t stand the Platz”.

Although Phakamile painstakingly explained the middle-class origins of the now-maligned sedan by the advanced Far East country in Asia, and that Platz is a German word meaning space, the disappointment from family and friends was too an enormous disease to cure.