By The Reporters
HARARE – Bemused by the passing of his recently-acquired friend, Wicknell Chivayo, Chimurenga guru Thomas Mapfumo compared the fallen giant to revolutionary fighters of yore. “When you think about it, this man has died in the same manner as Samora Machel. The exact same!”
The geriatric crooner, in an alleged desperate bid to make peace with his own battered conscience, further argued that “if we open the criteria to all types of modes of transport; then he belongs in the same conversation as Tongogara and Chitepo”.
Mapfumo – who has since returned to the mighty and safe haven called the United States of America – got visibly agitated when it was presented to him that, beyond the manner of death and varying links to ZANU, there was little in common between the yesteryear figures and the recently deceased.
At one point, he hysterically burst out: “Listen, I wrote Zimbabwe Mozambique; and I could say the same thing: ‘Dai tanga takabatana muZimbabwe, vaChivayo vangadai vasinawo kufa!’ It works.” Mapfumo adamantly maintained that since October is Samora Machel’s month, Chivayo's death has assumed a unique symbolic meaning (even though the tenderpreneur's death occured on the 30th of September).
At press time, Mapfumo was seen walking back to his car with duffle bags full of cash, at which point he winked at the small remaining crowd and whispered, “ndezvebasa” as he threw up a fist.
