Government Confirms Constitutional Amendment Bill Number 4 Already In Advanced Stages, With Ziyambi Rumoured To Be Working On Constitutional Amendment Bill Number Infinity

By The Reporters 

HARARE – Shortly after President Emmerson Mnangagwa signed Constitutional Amendment Bill No. 3 into law yesterday, word circulating in the capital was that Constitutional Amendment Bill No. 4 is now in advanced stages and ready to be tabled in Parliament as soon as yesterday. Christened CAB4 already, the Bill sets its sights on convincing the average Zimbabwean to think that CAB3 was absolutely constitutional and legally above board. The Bill, among other things, also seeks to increase the number of constitutional amendment bills that can be introduced in a calendar year. 

Impeccable sources within government also confirmed that Ziyambi Ziyambi, the Minister of Justice, Parliamentary, and Legal Affairs has begun preliminary work on Constitutional Amendment Bill Number Infinity. It is said that Ziyambi has not slept in several months as he is fervently working through an infinite number of constitutional amendment proposals. It is said that Ziyambi has already become agitated that CAB4 is not even yet before Parliament despite everything being in place already. 

“The honourable minister cannot go for more than three days without amending a provision in our beloved Constitution. Of course, detractors will say he is at the forefront of mutilating the Constitution, but all I am seeing, in all honesty, is a patriotic son of the soil doing the Lord’s work,” said Tatenda Mavetera, who heads the ICT ministry. 

Ziyambi himself was buoyant when contacted by The Reporters. “Firstly, I feel like touching the sky because of CAB3. You peasants honestly thought we weren’t going to make it law? How brazen of you! 

“How many times do I have to tell you people that the Constitution is a living document and obviously it requires constant updates. Now that CAB3 is law, we have a plethora of other bills to amend the Constitution, and this means well for our country. You can agree with me that there is no way you are going to expect me to keep using a 2013 Constitution when we are now in 2026,” he said. 

“Our unwavering long-term vision, in tandem with Vision 2030, is to amend the Constitution so efficiently to the point where the Constitution can even amend itself without our input.”

One of the proposals, Constitutional Amendment Bill Number 231, will establish a Bill responsible for overseeing the other Constitutional Amendment Bills. At press time, Ziyambi told The Reporters to assure the citizens that they should not worry about the excessive speed CAB3 was passed with. He insisted that several future amendments had already been drafted, translated, gazetted, debated, passed, challenged, and upheld by the courts. The Reporters failed to get a comment from the President.