By The Reporters
OREGON, U.S. – Insisting that every ideology has a market value, Chimurenga legend Thomas Mapfumo reportedly explained that Blacks Unlimited had, contrary to popular belief, always come with a price tag. The ‘Lion of Zimbabwe’ rolling a microphone-sized blunt from behind his home studio, nonchalantly explained to captive reporters, “You see vafana, like I said, ndezvebasa izvi. You have to remember, when we came up with the name ‘Blacks Unlimited’ we never imagined that somebody would offer us a million dollars. If we did, we did not anticipate it would be someone who represents everything I have spent the past six decades standing against; but you know, the ancestors work in mysterious ways!” At press time, Tafirenyika was excitedly holding court with his band, each one yelling out what they intend to do with their hefty payday. “For a cool half a mil more, I’ll change the name to ‘Trabablas Unlimited!’ Ndezvebasa izvi varume,” Mapfumo proclaimed as he bid The Reporters farewell.
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